Missy Barrett's Adventures

The amazing adventures of a fictional child

My Hallowe’en Costume

on October 25, 2017

It’s the final countdown before Hallowe’en, and if you don’t have a costume figured out yet, you better get it figured out fast because next week is Hallowe’en already!  It got here way faster than I thought it was going to get here, so if you’re like me, probably you’re saying, “Hey, next week is already Hallowe’en? How did that get here so fast?”

This year, I’m going as a private eye detective working undercover as a princess.  I’ll get to wear a beautiful princess dress with a tiara crown and everything except what nobody is going to know is that also I’m being a detective doing undercover work to break up a ring of marauding zombies, bad guys, and werewolves!  Doesn’t that sound superly exciting?

I already showed my mom and Roy (my mom’s friend) and my brothers, Aaron and Josh, what my costume has to look like, and they’re helping me get it put together (except my mom says I’m going to have to pretend some of it because otherwise I’m going to get in trouble with the law).

First off, my tiara crown is actually a infrared sensor.   Zombies are re-animated dead bodies so they aren’t hot-blooded.  That means on a infrared sensor they won’t show the same heat signature as a real person.  That’s how you can tell they’re zombies.  Even if someone is wearing a lot of clothes, if they aren’t a zombie, they’re going to give off a heat signature (that’s what the research on the Internet says anyway so I hope it’s right).

Now if the zombies are traveling with bad guys and werewolves, that’s going to be kind of tricky because the heat signatures are going to look a lot like if zombies are just wandering around with trick-or-treaters and dogs.  That’s where being a excellent detective pays off because you don’t want to get anybody in trouble or worse, zombified by accident.

Anyway, dogs sometimes wear clothes but when they do, their owners usually put them in nice clothes.   In all the movies and books I ever saw that have werewolves in them, their clothes are always wrecked and ripped, and sometimes even too small for them (probably that’s how they got wrecked and ripped in the first place).  So if the dogs you see are dressed nice, they are not werewolves.  If they are not dressed nice, they maybe might still be dogs, but also they could be werewolves, and probably werewolves if the heat signature from people with them say zombies are with them.

If it’s a werewolf, my princess wand with the jewels on top can actually shoot invisible silver bullets (that’s the part my mom won’t let me have for real because I don’t have police permissions to have a real shooting wand with real silver bullets).  I’m a superly good make-believer so those invisible silver bullets for sure are going to take out werewolves when I shoot them dead.  You cannot use anything else to kill werewolves.  You have to use silver bullets, but I never read anywhere that they could not be invisible or make-believe, so I have that covered for sure.

Also, if there are bad guys, I have special long evening gloves with built-in make-believe tasers in them.  If I run into bad guys, I just have to put my hands out in front of me like if I’m diving in a pool, and ZING! the taser lines will shoot out and stop the bad guys in their tracks.  Then I just have to stay there until the police show up with lights flashing and sirens screaming and that so the police can arrest them and take them away to jail.

On Hallowe’en, I’m going to help keep Sevierville safe from zombies and werewolves and bad guys.  Also, I’ll be trick-or-treating for candy, but mostly I’ll be on the job like Joe Friday and Perry Mason and people like that.  If you see me, make sure you tell me you’re not a zombie or a werewolf or a bad guy so I don’t make a mistake if I see you two times.

Oh, and plus, stay safe and do what your mom or dad or grandma or grandpa tell you to do when you go trick-or-treating with them.

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