Missy Barrett's Adventures

The amazing adventures of a fictional child

My Hallowe’en Costume

It’s the final countdown before Hallowe’en, and if you don’t have a costume figured out yet, you better get it figured out fast because next week is Hallowe’en already!  It got here way faster than I thought it was going to get here, so if you’re like me, probably you’re saying, “Hey, next week is already Hallowe’en? How did that get here so fast?”

This year, I’m going as a private eye detective working undercover as a princess.  I’ll get to wear a beautiful princess dress with a tiara crown and everything except what nobody is going to know is that also I’m being a detective doing undercover work to break up a ring of marauding zombies, bad guys, and werewolves!  Doesn’t that sound superly exciting?

I already showed my mom and Roy (my mom’s friend) and my brothers, Aaron and Josh, what my costume has to look like, and they’re helping me get it put together (except my mom says I’m going to have to pretend some of it because otherwise I’m going to get in trouble with the law).

First off, my tiara crown is actually a infrared sensor.   Zombies are re-animated dead bodies so they aren’t hot-blooded.  That means on a infrared sensor they won’t show the same heat signature as a real person.  That’s how you can tell they’re zombies.  Even if someone is wearing a lot of clothes, if they aren’t a zombie, they’re going to give off a heat signature (that’s what the research on the Internet says anyway so I hope it’s right).

Now if the zombies are traveling with bad guys and werewolves, that’s going to be kind of tricky because the heat signatures are going to look a lot like if zombies are just wandering around with trick-or-treaters and dogs.  That’s where being a excellent detective pays off because you don’t want to get anybody in trouble or worse, zombified by accident.

Anyway, dogs sometimes wear clothes but when they do, their owners usually put them in nice clothes.   In all the movies and books I ever saw that have werewolves in them, their clothes are always wrecked and ripped, and sometimes even too small for them (probably that’s how they got wrecked and ripped in the first place).  So if the dogs you see are dressed nice, they are not werewolves.  If they are not dressed nice, they maybe might still be dogs, but also they could be werewolves, and probably werewolves if the heat signature from people with them say zombies are with them.

If it’s a werewolf, my princess wand with the jewels on top can actually shoot invisible silver bullets (that’s the part my mom won’t let me have for real because I don’t have police permissions to have a real shooting wand with real silver bullets).  I’m a superly good make-believer so those invisible silver bullets for sure are going to take out werewolves when I shoot them dead.  You cannot use anything else to kill werewolves.  You have to use silver bullets, but I never read anywhere that they could not be invisible or make-believe, so I have that covered for sure.

Also, if there are bad guys, I have special long evening gloves with built-in make-believe tasers in them.  If I run into bad guys, I just have to put my hands out in front of me like if I’m diving in a pool, and ZING! the taser lines will shoot out and stop the bad guys in their tracks.  Then I just have to stay there until the police show up with lights flashing and sirens screaming and that so the police can arrest them and take them away to jail.

On Hallowe’en, I’m going to help keep Sevierville safe from zombies and werewolves and bad guys.  Also, I’ll be trick-or-treating for candy, but mostly I’ll be on the job like Joe Friday and Perry Mason and people like that.  If you see me, make sure you tell me you’re not a zombie or a werewolf or a bad guy so I don’t make a mistake if I see you two times.

Oh, and plus, stay safe and do what your mom or dad or grandma or grandpa tell you to do when you go trick-or-treating with them.

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Ghosts and Other Scary Stuff

Hallowe’en is almost here.  Just another week and a few days and everybody’s going to spend a few hours pretending to be scary things they wouldn’t want to know about any other day of the year.

Now I don’t like Hallowe’en costumes that are from scary movies. I don’t like Freddy Krugers or Jasons or bad things like that because killing people should not get made into costumes I don’t think. I don’t like the Grim Reaper and you should probably figure out how come (and it has to do with killing people).

No serial killers. No crazy doctors cutting up people into parts.

Witches are okay because they’re totally make-believe. If someone is making potions and stuff to hurt people, then they aren’t witches. They’re criminals. Same thing with warlocks. Also vampires and werewolves aren’t real so they’re okay even though they’re pretty scary.

Headless horsemen like the one that’s in the Ichabod Crane story are okay, too, because they’re not real. So are skeletons because I heard everyone’s got one in their closet, so even if you don’t have one now, don’t worry because everybody gets one eventually I think.

Cartoon characters are okay as long as they aren’t super evil bad criminals.

Also any of the evil step-mothers from any of the fairy tales, woodcutters (like from Hansel and Gretel), hunters (like in Snow White), and all those costumes — they’re good for Hallowe’en.

But here are the two most worst things ever to be on Hallowe’en and I hope nobody I know is going to be one of these two things: A clown or a zombie, and the most worst thing to be would be a zombie clown.

Just no.

Don’t do that.

Also, no mummies because mummies are just really old zombies dressed in hospital supplies. So no to them because they count as zombies.

When I was a baby, I was just two months old when Hallowe’en happened. I was too little to trick-or-treat but my mom made a special costume just for me. She got some nice warm, soft white material and made a costume that looked like those little take-out boxes you can get at Chinese restaurants. She did all this great artwork in red ink on the front and when she took my brother Josh out trick-or-treating, he told everybody that I was left-overs.

I think that’s funny.

When I was older (I think I was like three or something like that), my mom took some blue plastic cups and painted two cardboard boxes the same color, and then she put the blue plastic cups on the boxes so the cups wouldn’t fall off. One box was big enough for me to wear like a dress, and the other was a hat for my head. Then I wore blue pants that were the same color blue as the boxes and the cups.

I went as two building blocks.

Anyway, if you’re going to dress up for Hallowe’en, just be sure to make fun costumes. Be creative and make your own. You don’t have to be a bad costume character and scare everyone in the whole wide world. Just make or get a fun costume, and do a bunch of pretend stuff that makes people laugh instead, and maybe with just a little bit of scaring in it.

I don’t know what I’m going as this year. I still have a whole week and a few days to figure it out.

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