Today, I got a idea to do a really superly special scientific experiment in my mom’s kitchen. There’s this thing that’s been bugging me for a really long time and it’s this: If you open the bag from the bottom and eat all the crumbs first, will the stuff at the top of the bag still be really big and all in one piece?
It was a very good experiment, I think, and probably something that Sherlock Holmes would think of doing when he wasn’t working on a mystery with Inspector Lestrade. I know because my mom has the black-and-white series of Sherlock Holmes on DVD and I’ve watched them a whole bunch of times so I know how Sherlock Holmes probably thinks.
So I got my magnifying glass that I used to call a glass on a stick, and my clue hat and a brand new notepad that didn’t have any mystery notes in it already and a pencil to write down my observations. That’s what Sherlock Holmes calls them: Observations.
Sometimes my one grandma talks about Holy Days of Obligation but that’s not the same thing. Observations when it’s a mystery means writing down the stuff that you saw exactly how you saw it so it’s a fact and not just a recollectioning or a vague memory (like my mom calls them).
So after I got all that together, I went in my mom’s kitchen and got up on the counter and pulled out all the closed up bags in the cupboards. You know, stuff like bags of potato chips and all that kind of stuff.
I wrote down all the information on every single bag in my notepad and then I got my mom’s scissors from her office and snippety snip snip snip, I cut open every bag in the experiment along the bottom part of the bag. Then I carefully opened each bag and wrote down what I saw. Mostly what I saw were crumbs, just as I suspected (that’s Sherlock Holmes talk, just so you know).
But experiments are not just proving that the first half of your theory is right. You have to do the whole experiment to see if it’s one hundred percent right or just mostly right, so I took the scissors afterwards and snippety snip snip snip, I cut open every bag in the experiment along the top part of the bag. It was just like I suspected. Everything at the top of the bag was really big and not busted up!
I wrote everything down and then I got twist ties and twist tied the tops and bottoms of every bag in the experiment. That way nothing is going to fall out and land on the floor which would make my mom really mad because she doesn’t like it when food falls on the floor. And then I put all the bags back in the cupboards where I found them.
But I think maybe something went terribly wrong because just a couple minutes ago, I heard Aaron in the kitchen getting something to snack on and I heard him shout, “What the …?”
Then my mom went in the kitchen and I heard her say, “What’s going on here?”
Now they’ve got Josh downstairs and he’s saying, “Honest, mom, I wasn’t in here after school. I’ve been in my room studying ever since I got home.”
I don’t know why I have this feeling, but I think my mom’s going to call for me to go to the kitchen next. It must be my Sherlock Holmes senses tingling and that’s how I know she’s going to holler for me to come to the kitchen for a minute. And I’m going to bring all my detective stuff with me to help with whatever the mystery in the kitchen is because I’m really good at figuring out clues.
But not to worry, my trusty friends in twenty-three countries — I’m going to bring all my important detectiving data to show my mom so she knows whatever she’s upset about I never did. I’ve been busy with my very important experiment.