Missy Barrett's Adventures

The amazing adventures of a fictional child

Executive Orders, Pardons and Turkeys

on November 26, 2014

My grandpa called me on the phone and he said he read in Time magazine that turkey production is down!  YAY!  Now it’s probably got zero zip to do with my Letter to the Editor a couple weeks ago, but it still makes me happy.

But you know what else he told me?  He said that turkey sales fell down by three percent, and you know what that means, right?  That means that for every one hundred turkeys that were going to get dead for Thanksgiving, three of them got away alive!

And then on Friday, I got a letter in the mail that got delivered the old-fashioned way by the post office, and it was from my other grandpa.  Guess what was inside with the letter.  Go ahead, guess!  Okay, you’re not going to be able to guess so I’ll just tell you.

There was a newspaper clipping about how the President of the United States of America is going to give one turkey a pardon so he doesn’t have to be dinner on Thanksgiving.

I think it would be better if the President would just make a Executive Order that says all turkeys that get eaten for Thanksgiving and Christmas have to be fighting chance turkeys.  That way, if you there was a turkey on your table for Thanksgiving or Christmas, it was because the turkey had as much chance of getting away as the hunter had of bagging it.

That’s what hunters call it when they get lucky and kill something.  They call it bagging whatever they got lucky hitting.

And plus, before I forget, my mom got a email from a turkey farmer yesterday, and he invited my mom and me to visit his turkey farm.  My mom is thinking about it but I really want to go.  Maybe I can help the farmer get why it’s better to have fighting chance turkeys.

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