Ever since I was really little, I wanted to be a detective. That’s what I like doing … detectiving. I like mysteries and adventures but most of all, I like detectiving so I can figure out the mysteries just like Sherlock Holmes. That’s why when I was little, I asked my mom to get me a magnifying glass except I didn’t know that’s what it was called back then and I just called it a glass on a stick. So my mom got me a glass on a stick magnifying glass just like the one that Sherlock Holmes has plus she got me a Sherlock Holmes detectiving hat.
So on the weekend, my mom went to the book store and she got a DVD with lots of episodes of Sherlock Holmes from the black-and-white days. I watched a lot of the episodes and there was this one where it starts with Sherlock Holmes missing so it was a really good mystery right at the beginning. And Doctor Watson and the head policeman at Scotland Yard had to figure out what happened to Sherlock Holmes. I learned some very important things about assistant detectives and how they’re supposed to act, and I made notes so I can teach my brother, Josh, how to do the assistant detective part for me the way it’s supposed to be done.
The first thing you have to remember is that when the assistant assistant detective asks a question, the assistant detective has to say the same question back to him but not the same way. Just the same words. So this is what’s supposed to happen. The assistant assistant detective says, “Do you know what happened?”
Then the assistant detective says back, “Do you know what happened?” Then he’s supposed to make a face that looks like he knows what happened except he doesn’t have any idea but he doesn’t want the assistant assistant detective to figure that part out otherwise they could get into a fight about who gets to be the leader of the investigation.
And then they just keep asking the same questions to each other and try to figure out the clues the way the real detective would, and then the real detective finds them but the assistant detective and the assistant assistant detective don’t know it because they think they found the real detective all on their own with zero help from the real detective.
That’s how things get done and that’s how you’re supposed to teach the assistant detective how come he has to keep on being a assistant detective and not try to take over being a real detective. It’s important to do it that way so nobody feels bad but everybody knows that they have to stick to the job they have instead of taking over.
It’s not easy being a real detective, you know, and when I grow up, I’m going to be a real detective like Sherlock Holmes, and people are going to ask me to figure out all kinds of important mysteries plus it’s always going to be a adventure. And you know what else? I hope that maybe there’s going to be a mystery in a real far away place like at least one hundred miles away from my house because that would mean lots of extra hard thinking to figure out the mystery. It wouldn’t be like figuring out something that happened on 221B Baker Street or at my house.